The magic button — Make Everything OK

The magic button — Make Everything OK

Short stories

I wrote a post on facebook saying that I would write a short story of any topic given in the comments. Here was my challenge:  i have 2, first one: u find a magical staff and es forced to use it for good the second: ur parents have signed an agreement making u marry Justin Bieber for 20 years, their are no loopholes or ways out, u must stay with him have fun Carna ^.=.^

Here is the end result:  Once upon a time Carna found a magical stick that she used to bash in the face of her husband Justin Bieber. She then disposed of the body with the magic "burn every living thing in sight" button on the stick and phoned the police of his disappearance. Carna then lived off of Justin Bieber's assorted millions until she was very old and used the magical stick to control the minds of everyone in the world. She died after a squirrel chewed through her bungee cord and she fell to her death.

THE END.


My second challenge: whatever XD i gots a new one for ya: ur playing an internet game and then lightening strikes the phone lines messing with ur computer and sucking u into the game ur playing, u must survive and figure a way out by beating the game. the game u was playing es Assasians Creed ^.=.^ i know u will enjoy this


I know nothing about this games except that the characters have Italian accents and kill people. So here is the end result: (excuse my ignorance as I know very little about this game. I wrote several much longer versions but none of them seemed to work. long story short,)

Carna  hated computers. She also hated it when they zapped her in the face, and she woke up in the middle of a stone street and was carried away by strangely dressed guards. However she did enjoy killing all of said guards abandoning her "mission" and eventually leading to the death and destruction of the entire royal family and anyone else of "nobility".
"You have no idea how to play this game, do you?"
"Not in the slightest." Carna replied to the magical talking death snail (any good game should have magical talking death snails) that she had found after harpooning the King in the face. The snail's name was Henry. He liked to eat beans.
"I guess that's why everyone's dead?"
"yep" Carna kicked over a burning piece of wood by her feet and continued to walk along the streets.
"Technically I killed everyone, so i killed my 'target' does tht count as finishing the game?"
"It should" replied the snail as he nibbled on a detached hand.
"I will miss yo Henry."
She waved goodbye and died.

The End.

As you can tell, i know nothing about the game. But seriously, any game worth playing has magical talking death snails.

Baseball.

I already did football, but: this is interesting trust me.
Ok, so two kids about 12 years old, whom we will name Retard 1 and Retard 2 were outside smacking each other in the heads with sticks. Eventually their heads hurt *alot* and Retard 1 was starting to suffer from blood loss. So since the stick wacking obviously caused brain damage, they decided to make a pointless sport where people hit a ball with sticks and then run around in circles. As you can imagine Retard 1 and Retard 2 died shortly after because all that blood and splinters swimming around in their tiny heads, the running around in circles part didn't help. and they both dropped dead. The End.
Somehow this has become America's favorite past time. Again, I don't *really* understand sports. But come on...All the stick wacking Retards make more than our Doctors, there's something wrong with that....And to all of the baseball fans out there I am sincerely sorry if I have offended you (not really) the game of baseball is a wonderful thing (Oh God make it stop, it's so pointless!!!) And I wish you the best of luck getting onto your favorite sports team (you will become a janitor because u worked too hard smacking things with a stick than u did on your maths homework)
*******
In all honesty I think people just watch these sports because it gives them something to be excited about, which is kind of depressing when you think about it. How one person hits something with a stick and that is the highlight of our lives.
Coming Soon: Golf.

Inheritance! the End of a great legacy of books.

This *will* contain spoilers. Sorry.

Inheritance/ Inheritance Cycle/ "Eragon series" - ....Ok, the book. was awesome. The story, was amazing. But there were some slight disappointments. For one, the entire series kind of builds up to the big fight between Galbatorix and Eragon (warning: spoilers) and instead of the epic sword battle of the century!...Galbatorix understands his wrongs and kills himself in a fiery explosion, as far as I could tell at least. I must say however, it was written well and definitely was unexpected. Which may have been part of the point. Also, Again the story was great, but completely unsatisfactory as the last book. I mean...Eragon leaves Alagaesia forever never to see his loved ones or friends again, The End!!?! *and* Arya and him never did get together,(Nor Nasuada and Murtagh which was rather gloomy after all that conspired in Uru'baen) which was all too expected. Ah well, we shall see I suppose. Although I'm sure im not the only one who will wonder as to Eragon's future. And then there's Angela, I am about %98 sure that she is the fabled "Soothsayer" that Galbatorix speaks of, but one can never be sure. And I was disappointed to find that the promised answers on her were not included. I have the feeling many fan-fictions will soon pop up to finish the story and Angela and what not. Therefore ruining the books. So, may the great legacy live on while it can. (I'm not a fan of fan-fiction, ok?)

The  

   End

Perspective.

per·spec·tive

   [per-spek-tiv]  Show IPA

noun

1.

a technique of depicting volumes and spatial relationships ona flat surface. Compare aerial perspective, linear perspective.

2.

a picture employing this technique, especially one in which itis prominent: an architect's perspective of a house.

3.

a visible scene, especially one extending to a distance;vista: a perspective on the main axis of an estate.

4.

the state of existing in space before the eye: The elevationslook all right, but the building's composition is a failure inperspective.

5.

the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship: You have to live here afew years to see local conditions in perspective. (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/perspective)
Have you ever gotten into an argument with like, a six year old? Not like a full fledged one but something like "The moon is obviously made of cheese you freakish lady" and the sheer idiocy (even if they're only 6. hey, its jst an example. I'll get to the little kids later) get u to the point your head almost explodes? That's exactly what it's like to talk to someone with no perspective. At least, for me I suppose. I hear people grumbling and complaining like the world is going to end, only to find "my life has no meaning, this is awful...I can't find my favorite pen!" <--direct quote. Anyway, it's just sad. I mean, come on...really? is it that big of a deal?

Football

 If someone ever asks me how I feel about a football game, which I could care less about, I swear this is how I'm going to respond. I don't like football, ok? I just like to look over every once in a while and watch people getting killed or raped by the other team.
(comic credit going to "The Oatmeal" http://theoatmeal.com/comics/bobcats_wednesday) Again, a girls football team, faaaar more interesting. watches as the children of the village run in tackling each other. "we f***ing love football!" "arrrrgh!!" a small bow jumps atop the tackle pile. .....I can't wait until they're older....
goes back to watching a girl piggy back riding the kid with the football whilst tearing his hair out.