Facebook

Dear Facebook,
To whom it may concern I don't care to hear any real random emotions of your life. In fact, they are rather annoying. Statuses such as "Wow, how low can you get" and other undirected/obviously directed statuses are a great nuisance to anyone trying to enjoy a pleasant scroll through their news feed. If there's something going on, say it. If you are vying for attention or trying to insult someone, say it. Not only does it cause an entertaining drama, but it also diminishes the desire to chop off, burn, season, and eat your typing hands. This is second only to the Lovey Dovey status posts the rest of us have to endure. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Carna.

Omegle

Hello dear sir/madam. Before you start typing your blabbery bullshit, I just want to let you know that if you don't know what correct grammar and punctuation mean, then you can f*ck off for all I care. Also, NO, I won't give you my age, sex or location. It's supposed to remain an anonymous website, retards.

Twilight

Twilight it actually all a figment of Bella's imagination. Really shes a phsychotic bitch who's family died in a vampire bat feeding frenzy, she's been in an assylum the past 15 years of her life and sits in a white rubber room with a straight jacket muttering things about vampires and wolves. In her mind Twilight is playing out as in the books, where she has a life that surpasses the normal one she can not ever have. Even though because she has no perception of reality, she therefore has no perception of herself as a person, hence kristen stewart.

You're all actually in a mental hospital right now, this is a figment of your imaginiation.  

Pokemon.

Actually Pokemon is just a show about the Earth in the future. You see, a deranged Scientist 
called"Professor Oak" was working on an experiment to mutate common objects and animals 
together. The first of these was an ugly rodent, and a yellow electrical socket. He eventually created 
so many of these that they over ran him and escaped into the wild where they have multiplied by 
the millions. He then sends out a quest of young "trainers" to catch them all before they overrun the 
world and kill off humanity. The End.
Sorry to crush all your dreams.