Short stories

I wrote a post on facebook saying that I would write a short story of any topic given in the comments. Here was my challenge:  i have 2, first one: u find a magical staff and es forced to use it for good the second: ur parents have signed an agreement making u marry Justin Bieber for 20 years, their are no loopholes or ways out, u must stay with him have fun Carna ^.=.^

Here is the end result:  Once upon a time Carna found a magical stick that she used to bash in the face of her husband Justin Bieber. She then disposed of the body with the magic "burn every living thing in sight" button on the stick and phoned the police of his disappearance. Carna then lived off of Justin Bieber's assorted millions until she was very old and used the magical stick to control the minds of everyone in the world. She died after a squirrel chewed through her bungee cord and she fell to her death.

THE END.


My second challenge: whatever XD i gots a new one for ya: ur playing an internet game and then lightening strikes the phone lines messing with ur computer and sucking u into the game ur playing, u must survive and figure a way out by beating the game. the game u was playing es Assasians Creed ^.=.^ i know u will enjoy this


I know nothing about this games except that the characters have Italian accents and kill people. So here is the end result: (excuse my ignorance as I know very little about this game. I wrote several much longer versions but none of them seemed to work. long story short,)

Carna  hated computers. She also hated it when they zapped her in the face, and she woke up in the middle of a stone street and was carried away by strangely dressed guards. However she did enjoy killing all of said guards abandoning her "mission" and eventually leading to the death and destruction of the entire royal family and anyone else of "nobility".
"You have no idea how to play this game, do you?"
"Not in the slightest." Carna replied to the magical talking death snail (any good game should have magical talking death snails) that she had found after harpooning the King in the face. The snail's name was Henry. He liked to eat beans.
"I guess that's why everyone's dead?"
"yep" Carna kicked over a burning piece of wood by her feet and continued to walk along the streets.
"Technically I killed everyone, so i killed my 'target' does tht count as finishing the game?"
"It should" replied the snail as he nibbled on a detached hand.
"I will miss yo Henry."
She waved goodbye and died.

The End.

As you can tell, i know nothing about the game. But seriously, any game worth playing has magical talking death snails.

Baseball.

I already did football, but: this is interesting trust me.
Ok, so two kids about 12 years old, whom we will name Retard 1 and Retard 2 were outside smacking each other in the heads with sticks. Eventually their heads hurt *alot* and Retard 1 was starting to suffer from blood loss. So since the stick wacking obviously caused brain damage, they decided to make a pointless sport where people hit a ball with sticks and then run around in circles. As you can imagine Retard 1 and Retard 2 died shortly after because all that blood and splinters swimming around in their tiny heads, the running around in circles part didn't help. and they both dropped dead. The End.
Somehow this has become America's favorite past time. Again, I don't *really* understand sports. But come on...All the stick wacking Retards make more than our Doctors, there's something wrong with that....And to all of the baseball fans out there I am sincerely sorry if I have offended you (not really) the game of baseball is a wonderful thing (Oh God make it stop, it's so pointless!!!) And I wish you the best of luck getting onto your favorite sports team (you will become a janitor because u worked too hard smacking things with a stick than u did on your maths homework)
*******
In all honesty I think people just watch these sports because it gives them something to be excited about, which is kind of depressing when you think about it. How one person hits something with a stick and that is the highlight of our lives.
Coming Soon: Golf.

Inheritance! the End of a great legacy of books.

This *will* contain spoilers. Sorry.

Inheritance/ Inheritance Cycle/ "Eragon series" - ....Ok, the book. was awesome. The story, was amazing. But there were some slight disappointments. For one, the entire series kind of builds up to the big fight between Galbatorix and Eragon (warning: spoilers) and instead of the epic sword battle of the century!...Galbatorix understands his wrongs and kills himself in a fiery explosion, as far as I could tell at least. I must say however, it was written well and definitely was unexpected. Which may have been part of the point. Also, Again the story was great, but completely unsatisfactory as the last book. I mean...Eragon leaves Alagaesia forever never to see his loved ones or friends again, The End!!?! *and* Arya and him never did get together,(Nor Nasuada and Murtagh which was rather gloomy after all that conspired in Uru'baen) which was all too expected. Ah well, we shall see I suppose. Although I'm sure im not the only one who will wonder as to Eragon's future. And then there's Angela, I am about %98 sure that she is the fabled "Soothsayer" that Galbatorix speaks of, but one can never be sure. And I was disappointed to find that the promised answers on her were not included. I have the feeling many fan-fictions will soon pop up to finish the story and Angela and what not. Therefore ruining the books. So, may the great legacy live on while it can. (I'm not a fan of fan-fiction, ok?)

The  

   End

Perspective.

per·spec·tive

   [per-spek-tiv]  Show IPA

noun

1.

a technique of depicting volumes and spatial relationships ona flat surface. Compare aerial perspective, linear perspective.

2.

a picture employing this technique, especially one in which itis prominent: an architect's perspective of a house.

3.

a visible scene, especially one extending to a distance;vista: a perspective on the main axis of an estate.

4.

the state of existing in space before the eye: The elevationslook all right, but the building's composition is a failure inperspective.

5.

the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship: You have to live here afew years to see local conditions in perspective. (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/perspective)
Have you ever gotten into an argument with like, a six year old? Not like a full fledged one but something like "The moon is obviously made of cheese you freakish lady" and the sheer idiocy (even if they're only 6. hey, its jst an example. I'll get to the little kids later) get u to the point your head almost explodes? That's exactly what it's like to talk to someone with no perspective. At least, for me I suppose. I hear people grumbling and complaining like the world is going to end, only to find "my life has no meaning, this is awful...I can't find my favorite pen!" <--direct quote. Anyway, it's just sad. I mean, come on...really? is it that big of a deal?

Football

 If someone ever asks me how I feel about a football game, which I could care less about, I swear this is how I'm going to respond. I don't like football, ok? I just like to look over every once in a while and watch people getting killed or raped by the other team.
(comic credit going to "The Oatmeal" http://theoatmeal.com/comics/bobcats_wednesday) Again, a girls football team, faaaar more interesting. watches as the children of the village run in tackling each other. "we f***ing love football!" "arrrrgh!!" a small bow jumps atop the tackle pile. .....I can't wait until they're older....
goes back to watching a girl piggy back riding the kid with the football whilst tearing his hair out.

Blogging in general

blogging isn't a bad thing...its the people who "blog" like anyone cares. No one really does care  about their friend cindy being "such a bitch because she bought purple nail polish instead of blue" and shit....People eat it up because then they feel likek they can live someone elses life instead of their own pathetic ones. and bloggers think that their audiences care about them, so they keep dishing it out. It's an ongoing circle really. I just obviously had to point this out because it gets extremely annoying to here people saying  "omg, I like have to check this blog for a sec, yeah she's like awesome. She lists like every single color on earth, in Greek. idk why it's important it's just cool. ooooh look today's is orange!" Now if all those kinds of preppy girls made up a girls football team, *that* I would watch. Just because "omg I broke my nail" is far less entertaining than "OMG I BROKE MY LEGS!!!" just saying....Bloggers, please stop pretending like people care so much. I'm sure many deserve their fans, but most, (like our Greek coloring friend) do not. I mean, we all know you just started this because you were bored, wanted to feel  like people cared about your opinions or what happened in your life at some point when something big you could write about was going on. Now those who have specialty blogs fine. perfect. They are doing something worth while, book reviews, food reviews, heck I guess even are coloring book friend is at least consistent. Those are all quite interesting.  And readers, I know it's fun to surf the web and subscribe and become a dedicated fan to every blogger who says the words "Justin Beiber" but if you love everything these guys talk about so much, then why don't you walk outside and do it yourself. I don't know buy a Greek coloring set at wal-mart.

******
This is ironic because this "blog" thing is pretty much exactly what I'm ranting about

Twitter and such.

Ok, so....I never liked twitter. And frankly I don't see the point of it, it seems much more complicated than facebook, and on facebook I don't have to feel bad for going 20 minutes without posting something. quite the opposite actually. But my favorite Author, Christopher Paolini (who apparently shared my opinions of twitter up until now) has gotten one, and he does post much there. So of course to follow him, I had to make a twitter account. -.=.-  I still hate it. So you know follow me on twitter and shit...@CarnaDrans
yeah, I kid...If you follow me you'll probably just realize how meaningless life is from my depressing updates and end up wanting to end everything. I haven't been in the best mood, ok?
  "Oh but why Carna!? how could yo ever be in such a down-in-the-dumps kind of dreary tone?" chant the children of the village. Well I'll tell you children, it's because of a sickness I've discovered. "Oh no! not like the measles or chicken pox is it?!?" "probably girl germs" they whisper. 
No, no, nothing like that; this is a disease that takes your heart. "*gasp*!!!" shout the children of the village. It's a nasty one. it's like a cold black snake of ash. It can drill itself into your heart in the amount of time it takes to type a few words. And when it does it quickly begins to expand, overlapping your heart in that diseased black expansion, until your heart just shatters to tiny little pieces. Like it's being stabbed and shredded over and over again! "O.O but...that would kill you!" cry the children of the  village, and I know I will be getting several calls from angry mothers tonight when this story is retold by the upset children. Ah! one would think so but you see, that black "snake", if you will, would begin to pick up each tiny fragment to put the heart back together. This can take an extremely long time as I'm sure you can imagine. And in the mean time your heart is replaced by this cynical, always logical, emotionless snake. The only emotions allowed are sad and depressed ones. Plus, without your heart in perfect working order, it can effect your mind, your life style, how you view everything. "momma did always say there aint no cure for a broken heart..." Well, unfortunately children of the village I have this sickness. Oh don't worry it's not contagious. But I'm afraid it can never be cured either. "But you said that eventually the snake feller would put back together all the pieces!" questions one child as the others nod their heads in agreement. Well, when something explodes, some times little pieces, or large pieces, can be taken away by other people. They don't know what they're doing by taking them, but they do. And it can be very hard to get those pieces back once they're taken. "But that's stealing!!" "yeah!" "we can just light them on fire, then they'll have to give it back." "or beat 'em up!" "yeah! yeah!" "ARRRRRRGH!!!!" battle cries ring from teh children of the village as they stampede after the heart-piece-thief. Their parents are going to kill me.
"Hey kids! wtf do you think you;re doing with that bat, get over here!"
************
Disclaimer: no child hearts were stabbed through, exploded, or corrupted in the making of this story.

Now what was this supposed to be about? oh, yeah twitter....umm...k bye!

Inheritance challenge!

'tis completed! yes, I read fast. three books, Eragon, Eldest, and Brisingr. all together 497+668+748 pages...yes I just grabbed the books to check \: let's see that is...*grabs calculator behind back*....1,913 pages of awesome!  with six days to spare....I should probably start working on my homework now...Again though! if you haven't read the books I promise you, you will never be complete until you do. Yes, I like the books alot, ok? looking forwad to the big book signing on the 8th! NYC here I come!

Halloween. The minutes.

Halloween. the minutes. (I didn't actually have any kind of time calculating device.)

5:30 PM: phone calling everyone known and unknown...sorry Hank from California, wrong number. oh, you have plans too?

5:40 PM:  has resigned self to handing out pretzels to toddlers all night.

5:53 PM: writes a status on facebook stating the above.

6:05 PM: decides to go out anyway and clads self in black clothes, cloak, and knives.

6:08 PM: gets lectured by overly protective parent for costume being "too realistic as a killer".

6:18 PM: meets up with old friend and continues to terrorize all bowls of candy left out on porches.

6:30 PM: finds a cash abundant wallet in the middle of the street. "DID ANYONE LOSE A WALLET!?!?!"

6:31 PM: a neighbor did in fact lose a wallet and awards us for being "such honest children"...pfft, of course, I would've turned it in anyway!...

6:50 PM: moves on to main street and see's how many people stare as they drive by...11 btw

7:00 PM: reaches top of extremely steep cul de sac to find out only one house is accepting trick or treaters and there is a coyote around.

7:09 PM: runs away like hell after thinking of how far in the woods we are with a coyote prowling.

7:11 PM: remembers I have several knives....and a knitting needle.

7:30 PM: make second rounds at each of the replenished candy bowls and empty them as best as possible.

7:40 PM: hefts extremely heavy pillowcase over shoulder and heads home.

8:00 PM: passes out the last few pretzel bags to the assorted zombie and werewolf costumed toddlers.

8:30 PM: congratulate a little girl at being the only one with an original costume. she was a wingless demon fairy cat.

8:40 PM: muddles through the endless sea of snicker bars. "they're good for your teeth!" there must've been a sale at Job Lot or something.

8

"That's life"

"Thats life". One of the most common statements we hear day to day. Is it life? What is considered life, exactly?

Is it pain? accomplishment? Love? or just some mistake that occurred giving us the privelage to do our day to day things until we drop dead. 

  Now to tackle the Idea of pain, or hurt. "That's life", it comes with hurt or pain. I suppose that also means it's to be expected. If it's expected though, then its more of an element *of* life then...not life itself, isn't it? Now, if we don't anticipate pain in our lives, if not living as if it is the very root of life, then by the worlds definition it is our own fault for the pain to cause us any grief or surprise what so ever. makes sense, doesn't it? no? hmmm perhaps then, it is really trust that gets us in the way of pain. we don't expect we trust that is the supposed problem with humanity. ah well, we may never know. What we do know is that in every aspect of the time our bodies are animated in what is called life( ! ) pain holds an ample part.

  Accomplishment! there's an idea. We become educated through out first (averaging) 25 years? then we find a career, we use the money from said career to pay for bills, a house, maybe a family. then if we're lucky we retire and then eventually die. Such a cheery picture. So what is accomplishment? is it accomplishment to carry out that life, or is there more to it?....I admit to being a strange, abnormal, person and think that there is. Our accomplishments may vary, may be your career, u may become the next millionaire through your real estate business or what not. You may write a best seller off the spare lunch hours you have on the company computer. Who knows! but if life is indeed the fact of accomplishment then should we not hold everything we have to it? should we even think of doing anything else with ourselves until the task we chose is completed? Something to think about....

  Love. Could this be the reason, and/or the very thing we call life? can we derrive everything we do from Love? It's very tempting to say yes. One could say that without his Love or passion for (fill in the blank) they couldn't accomplish( ! ) anything, nor could they feel pain of something they never Loved. All the points made above can be argued one way or another to comply. But do we trust  Love anymore? Does the world trust  Love, or does the world....expect it. Do we expect to eventually find it when we're in our 20s and have a nice job and are accomplishing things? If the answer is yes, then we can not say life is Love. It's just an expected element that is taken account for and used as it is to be expected of us. 

 So, the next time you say or hear "That's life" think about what it is you could be stating. I challenge the world to find a meaning to life or indeed what life itself is. Also, Is you ever have said "That's life" to someone, I dare you to go back to that person and state exactly what you think life is in that situation. Oh what fun since none will read this and I look so perfectly insane and cynical.

Oh but there is so much more to analyze. I could sit here and rant some more about everything and how meaningless it is. actually, I think I will.