Baseball.

I already did football, but: this is interesting trust me.
Ok, so two kids about 12 years old, whom we will name Retard 1 and Retard 2 were outside smacking each other in the heads with sticks. Eventually their heads hurt *alot* and Retard 1 was starting to suffer from blood loss. So since the stick wacking obviously caused brain damage, they decided to make a pointless sport where people hit a ball with sticks and then run around in circles. As you can imagine Retard 1 and Retard 2 died shortly after because all that blood and splinters swimming around in their tiny heads, the running around in circles part didn't help. and they both dropped dead. The End.
Somehow this has become America's favorite past time. Again, I don't *really* understand sports. But come on...All the stick wacking Retards make more than our Doctors, there's something wrong with that....And to all of the baseball fans out there I am sincerely sorry if I have offended you (not really) the game of baseball is a wonderful thing (Oh God make it stop, it's so pointless!!!) And I wish you the best of luck getting onto your favorite sports team (you will become a janitor because u worked too hard smacking things with a stick than u did on your maths homework)
*******
In all honesty I think people just watch these sports because it gives them something to be excited about, which is kind of depressing when you think about it. How one person hits something with a stick and that is the highlight of our lives.
Coming Soon: Golf.